9-12 months
In the run-up to 12 months, it's perfectly normal for your baby to suffer from separation anxiety and become agitated and upset when she isn't with you. Follow our top tips to help you reassure her.
Don't be surprised if your previously content little baby suddenly becomes clingy and anxious at some stage as she heads for her first birthday. Equally, don't be worried: it is a phase many babies go through and is a normal part of childhood development. As your little one grows and develops, she starts to develop a sense of object permanence, when she begins to realise that if she can't see something, such as a favourite toy, it still exists. Separation anxiety occurs when your baby realises that when she can't see you, you are not there. As babies have no concept of time, she doesn't understand that when you pop into the kitchen to make a cup of tea, you'll be back shortly. She thinks you've gone for good. In response, she may cry or become clingy in the hope that you will come back and not leave her alone.
Of course, you can't be with your little one all the time, so use the following top tips to help you both through this stage:
Sometimes separation anxiety manifests itself with one parent being preferred to the other. Don't be upset if it happens to you! This is only a phase and in fact is a positive stage in her development. Your baby is developing a sense of self and demonstrating her strong emotional bonds and attachments.
Play peek-a-boo Play games with your baby where you hide behind a doorway, chair or curtain and then peek at your baby saying 'peek-a-boo'. You can also play 'where's baby' by putting a muslin over your baby's head and asking your baby where she is. These games will encourage your baby to understand concepts such as disappearing and coming back again from an early age.
Say goodbye
Make saying goodbye fun. Don't be tempted to sneak away if you are going out and leaving your baby with a babysitter or relative. Instead, let her see you go and play a waving bye-bye game. Encourage your child minder or babysitter to bring your baby to the window to wave you off. Your baby will learn to understand that you do come back by watching you go in the first place. Make a fuss of your return by saying 'Mummy's back, I always come back'.
Inform others
Tell your nanny, child minder or nursery that your baby is suffering from separation anxiety. They can then be prepared to line up activities to distract her when you have to leave. If necessary, ask a nursery teacher to meet you at the gate carrying a favourite toy or fun activity to encourage your child to go inside.
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