All the experts agree: the key to keeping your relationship healthy and happy is effective communication. Talking about how you feel and what you need only makes things easier.

Discuss key decisions well before they need to be implemented. This will give you time to discuss rationally any differences of opinion you have.

Resist the urge to micromanage each other's time with your baby.

Discuss and decide who will carry out certain duties upfront, such as getting up in the night at different times. Review these regularly as circumstances can change.

Work out what's really important to you and discuss them with your partner.

Be realistic about what you can achieve and don't put each other under too much pressure.

Remember that in many situations there will be no right and wrong, just differences of opinion.

Learn to compromise and find common ground that you both agree upon.

When you're so focussed on your baby, there may be less time, energy or opportunity to focus on each other. Tiredness can also make you both more sensitive. Always remember that you're in it together, and if you're both pulling your weight beware of playing 'competitive exhaustion' ('I'm really tired', 'Well, I'm exhausted, too', etc). The secret to harmony is talking things through - and picking your moments carefully if you do have a gripe to air. Remember, your role as parents includes the way you talk to and interact with each other. Little ones learn by example.

When you're so focussed on your baby, there may be less time, energy or opportunity to focus on each other. There is no underestimating the importance of having a little baby-free time together as a couple. Even if you have to set up a swap with another couple so they watch your baby while you go out for a drink and you watch theirs the following night, it's worth it. Seize every offer of help or childcare to enjoy being together away from your baby: if you get the chance of a night away together, grab it. There's nothing better than rekindling the old magic, focusing on each other, and remembering what you really love about each other.

Adjust your expectations. You won't be able to live the same life that you had before you had a baby. For a time you will have to adjust to a quieter lifestyle.

Be realistic and don't put yourself under pressure. For example, you may be house proud, but don't get stressed if standards slip a little.

Ask for help if you need it. And if it is offered to you, accept it willingly.

Take naps whenever possible. Your night-time sleep will still be disrupted regularly so it's important to make up the time. Sleep when the baby sleeps if possible.

Don't try to be the perfect hostess. When people visit or come to stay, don't feel that everything must be perfect. Relax and let everyone muck in with meal times and clearing up.

If at all possible, split the night-time responsibilities between you.

Some couples find that once they are parents they make love less than they used to. Fatigue plays a big part in this, as do the hormonal changes. Don't worry, this is perfectly normal and not a long-term concern. Take things slowly and don't put pressure on yourself or each other. Concentrate on intimacy, cuddling, massage and togetherness until your energy levels pick up.

As your baby gets older and settles into more regular patterns and routines you should find that your relationship settles into a new rhythm as parents. Try to balance out chores between you, and spend time together - without your baby - whenever you can. The demands in the first year of having a baby will inevitably change your life. But try not to let your baby become an excuse for spending time apart. Make sure you give your relationship as much attention as you can – and as much as it deserves.