Your little one is the centre of your world and you are at the heart of his, so being parted for the first time can be an emotional moment. The good news is babies are remarkably resilient. At the age of 3-6 months your baby is emotionally bonded to you, but rest assured, he can survive happily without you for a few hours as long as he is safe, well fed and has his physical and emotional needs met by a kind carer. The person who is likely to find it most difficult is you! But don't feel guilty or anxious: you have more than earned some time out and, with a little planning, you, your baby and your carer can enjoy a fun day or evening.
It's a good idea to start small and leave
your little one for the first time for a few
hours, rather than an overnight trip.
plan ahead
Proper planning will help you leave your baby with confidence. You need to have peace of mind that he will be in the care of someone that you feel comfortable with, invariably a grandparent, relative or friend who has met and bonded with your little one before. If you are using a babysitter, ask them to come round and spend time with your baby before you leave them alone together. That way you can see how they interact and your baby will be familiar with them in the future. On the day, make sure that they come over well before you leave. That way there is a smooth handover.
It's a good idea to start small and leave your little one for the first time for a few hours, rather than an overnight trip. If it's an evening out, think about staying close to home so that you feel reassured that if need be you can return quickly. Some mums choose initially to leave their baby for simple trips – such as shopping, a visit to friends, getting a haircut – and then build up to evenings out and then overnights.
Before you go, preparing a list of things that you feel the relative/friend should know – emergency numbers, how to contact you, an alternative number to call if you're unavailable for some reason – will reassure you both. It's helpful to tell your carer about your baby's routine to make sure this isn't disrupted, which may upset them. Ensure the carer also knows which toys or blankets are best-loved by your little one – their presence may be reassuring. If you're breastfeeding, make sure that you have expressed enough milk to cover any feeds your baby may need while you're away.
a quick departure
Try to leave quickly and without drama when you first leave your little one in the care of others. A drawn-out farewell is harder for everyone.
If you're leaving your little one at nursery for the first time, plan to do something that will take your mind off worrying about him. Meet friends (especially ones who have been through the same thing) or pamper yourself. You may find it helpful to stay away from places where you would expect to see babies.
Whatever the situation don't feel that you can't check up on your baby. Whoever is looking after him will totally understand your need to make a few phone calls the first few times you're apart. But try not to get in the way of them caring for your baby by constantly calling up for reassurance. It's your chance to relax and enjoy yourself – you deserve it!