early
tantrums

You may have heard of the ‘terrible twos’ but angry outbursts and challenging behaviour can start well before this time – as you might well have noticed already!

Temper tantrums can vary from child to child and not every toddler goes through a difficult stage, although nearly all get frustrated easily at times. It can be stressful, embarrassing and even frightening to see your child so angry and frustrated, but there are ways of coping with tantrums successfully, and heading them off at the pass. Remember, the vast majority of toddlers will have tantrums at some stage, so you are not alone.

Don’t think that you are a bad parent if your toddler seems to be having tantrums even from the age of one upwards – it might just be that he wants to push himself further than he can go at this stage. It also depends, to a certain extent, on your child’s temperament, some being more easy going than others.

what causes tantrums?
Tantrums often happen out of frustration and can appear in clusters just before a period of development. Some experts believe this is because the brain is ready for the next stage (talking, walking) before the body is, and this can be extremely frustrating, particularly when your toddler is tired or hungry. In addition, your toddler cannot yet communicate what he wants and how he feels, so little wonder he feels angry and upset sometimes.
Try to soothe your toddler with a firmhold and soft, encouraging words
how to prevent tantrums
Try to ‘read’ your toddler and anticipate what he is trying to do. He might just need some gentle encouragement or a helping hand to get to where he wants to go. If you don’t want him to climb those stairs/that bookcase, instead of repeatedly saying ‘no’ and removing him temporarily from the scene, which could result in a battle of wills, try distracting him instead with a song, an exciting game or a different toy.
Tantrums often happen out of frustrationand can appear in clusters just before aperiod of development
Keep calm and don’t get angry (if it’s safe to leave them, go to another room if you feel you are about to ‘snap’ – a bit of ‘time out’ may help soothe both your tempers). If you are in public, ignore other people’s glances if your little one goes into a rage – it’s not their problem (and they’re probably just relieved it’s not happening to them). If you’ve already said ‘no’, don’t give in to whatever your toddler is demanding. It may seem a simple solution to calm him down, but by doing so you send him the signal that tantrums work. Try to soothe your toddler with a firm hold and soft, encouraging words. They may have frightened themselves with all that emotion! Don’t feel resentful afterwards, just give your toddler a reassuring hug and move on. Try not to get stressed or blame yourself for not doing something right or feeling frustrated. After a difficult day, talk to a friend or partner: other mums will know exactly how you feel.

If you are out and about, suddenly point out a fascinating creepy crawly, a red bus or a funny character. When they are at this stage, there is no point trying to reason with them – they are simply too young to understand.
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